Worse than it Appears

One of the most difficult things for me being a brain injury survivor is how everyone considers you a “normal person.” People don’t understand that just because you look and usually act like a normal person, you are not! We have been through something that has altered our lives immensely.

Where I struggle with this the most is at my job, in social situations, even at home with my future wife. I struggle with it because they expect actions or answers right away. They get annoyed or frustrated when they do not see a result right away.

See the difference is that we have no visible injuries. For an example:

Lets say someone was born with out an arm or they are a veteran who lost their arm in a war. If you ask them to carry something I.E. a box of something, would you lose patience with them because they are taking to long? The answer is no. That one arm man can deliver the box it is just going to take time because he can do it but he has a certain way he must do it.

Same thing should happen to people with brain injuries but doesn’t because we have no visible injuries. So when I get asked to do something at work or get asked a question they need to let me pause, let me say ummmm, let me figure out the best way for me to do it or best way to answer the question. I can do whatever you ask me to but I got to do it my way. I have a certain way I must do things and believe it or not where I went to in-patient rehab taught me how to do this. They taught me this is how you succeed in the real world after you leave that safe sanctuary they call a hospital.

People need to slow down and think about who they are talking to, they may be worse than they appear…

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Comments

  • Connie Beal  On November 23, 2014 at 18:41

    Boy could I use some help. This describes my adult daughter… after a few car accidents, broken back and a couple of surgeries she is showing an increase in brain injury symptoms. Where can I find a doctor that understands this in Murfreesboro TN? We are so frustrated! I think she is giving up hope of ever being ok again. She says she just feels “stupid”. She has Medicare, is on Social Security Disability and is a mom of a one year old. We are trying to help her but feel we are hitting a wall.

    • gm1123  On November 27, 2014 at 20:02

      When I read your post about your daughter, I feel I have no reason to complain or feel sad. My physical injuries have healed, I have graduated from college and I am employed and do my my best to support myself, though it’s pretty hard sometimes. With her brain trauma plus physical injuries that still hold her back, I feel for her. She is already so strong to go through what she is. Prayers for y’all to find whatever help y’all need. Take care and happy thanksgiving.

  • gm1123  On November 27, 2014 at 19:52

    I understand tho very well. And at the same time I still expect to be treated as normal. I don’t want the stigma or pity. I want to feel sure and confident in my skin. Even though many or most of my days I have an invisible gray cloud hanging over me. I have to try that much harder to feel okay in my skin. I really hate that i have to try so hard to feel at ease. When I really think about it, I could cry. Despite this, I am so lucky in so many ways. Great post. Thank you

  • Connie Beal  On November 28, 2014 at 19:45

    Have any of you been prescribed aderol by a neurologist for brain trauma symptoms? Has it helped? My daughter took it for a few months… seemed to have good results with a few issues. However long story short that doctor is no longer available… the new neurologist just said he didn’t do that. ??? My original post was on November 23, 2014 at 18:41

    • gm1123  On November 28, 2014 at 20:27

      I took adderal after my injury. About a year after. My family suggested. It made a huge difference in my confidence and speaking in class (I was in college still). But, and this is proven by doctors, the effectiveness lessens the longer you take it. And more is needed, or higher dosage. Or the time it lasts decreases. I no longer take it regularly. It does help when I take it but not all day. And it messes with my sleep. Which I have a hard time with anyway.

      • Connie Beal  On November 29, 2014 at 00:06

        Thank you so much for your reply. This confirms what I had already heard about that medication. It is just so hard to take away the ability to focus and the confidence that it brought once my daughter experienced it. To tell her that it won’t last… or it will take more and more and her sleep will be more interrupted than it already is from pain is heartbreaking. But better to have a solid understanding up front. Again, thank you.

      • Connie Beal  On November 29, 2014 at 00:08

        By the way, did a neurologist prescribe adderal for you?

    • gm1123  On November 29, 2014 at 05:21

      In reply to your question if my neurologist prescribed adderal, yes she did. I have not seen my neurologist in many years so my g p prescribes it to me. (As you can see I am having a hard time sleeping…but I haven’t Even taken adderal…just can’t turn my brain off…it is so frustrating).

      • Connie Beal  On November 29, 2014 at 20:40

        Thank you gm1123. Your comments have been very helpful.

      • gm1123  On November 29, 2014 at 20:46

        I’m glad I helped you. Truthfully, you have also helped by allowing me to talk about my feelings. Thank you.

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