Indecision

Guest post I did for the site (http://fractured-myheadinjuryjournal.blogspot.com/):

As a result of my brain injury I have an extremely hard time on deciding things. Whether that be deciding where I want to go eat, trying to decide the between things or what to write about in my blog. It drives me insane and sometimes I stand in the same space for minutes trying to decide what it was that I am trying to do.

I’ll get up off the couch, go to the cabinet, open the doors and just stare at the food, for minutes. I know I want something to eat but I just don’t know what it should be. Chips or a candy bar? It’s almost like whatever I choose could mean life or death and it has to be the right or else.

I don’t get why I feel this way. I know it’s not life or death but I still treat it as though it is. I think I do this (unintentionally) because I want to make it a great experience. I know, you’re probably saying “easy Zach, it’s only food” but to me I think it’s subconsciously more.

I believe that it is subconsciously something more because after going through what I have been through (a near death experience) I want to make sure every last thing counts.  So, I want it to be great and I want it to be amazing because I feel like life could be over in a blink of an eye.

It is a burden to carry because I know that I could just get something else or that it really doesn’t matter what I choose because they all go to the same spot (my stomach) and they all satisfy my hunger. But still I stare at the array of snacks in my cabinet not able to decide.

So, I tell myself “what’s going to happen if I choose this one?” to allow myself to get over the hump and actually pick something. This helps me hurry up and make a decision with whatever it is that I am choosing.

It helps me choose because I can’t think of anything bad that will happen if I choose whatever item that I have selected. “I’m not going to die, No one will be hurt, and so what’s the big deal if I choose this one?”

 

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Comments

  • lee staniland  On December 29, 2010 at 13:42

    Zach, it was just the part of your brain that was injuried. I have trouble with diciding things too. but you know what? I don’t let it bother me. If I don’t know a menue, I could take all day. So usually I just pick the first one I think would be nice and don’t look at the rest of it. I can do something else next time. and hey, if it really doesn’t hurt anyone….who cares? If something sounds good. Pick it!
    something might be better put don’t worry about it. Like I said try the other one next time. only problum is that you most likly won’t remember. So relax and just pick! see ya later, your friend Lee

  • Kae Fournier  On December 29, 2010 at 16:53

    I agree, I’m very undecicive! When I want food I look at the same things over and over and not even decide!! I also have a hard time deciding if I should this or that! It makes my family and friends so angry and impatiant, mostly my family! Sometimes I choose this then later relized I wanted that! It bothers me but after a while I get over it, let it go, and move on!!

  • Tori Martinez  On December 30, 2010 at 14:55

    And here it is… posted to my site: http://fractured-myheadinjuryjournal.blogspot.com/2010/12/guest-post-indecision-by-zach-gauvin.html! Thank you so much, Zach, for being my first guest to post on my blog!

  • Decision making capacity is often affected as a result of brain injury. People with difficulties in this area often benefit from trying to limit their choices and then identifying the key differences between the choices so as to be able to make a considered decision. I appreciated that it is not as simple as I have described above, but many people report that adopting some simplified approaches make things easier over time.

  • The Tourist  On January 15, 2011 at 03:00

    great blog If you are the type to update your blog regulary, then you have gained one daily reader in me today. keep up the super work.
    watch the tourist online free

  • Gilda Mehraban  On February 9, 2011 at 17:54

    Thanks for the post on coping with a head injury. We would love to use this as a resource for our clients, many of whom have suffered head injuries and related side effects. If your readers would like more information on social security disability benefits, they can find help at http://www.socialsecuritylaw.com. Thanks again!

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