Being a Burden to Those You Love Most

I faced this problem after my accident. When I came home from in-patient rehab, the last thing that I wanted to do was now burden my parents/ my girlfriend with having to take care of me. I had already put them through enough, worrying about me while I laid in a hospital bed for a month in a coma.

When I got home everyone was eager to help me/ be with me and in time that began to fade. I ended up only having those closest to me to rely on. They were always there for me and wanted to help me out but I still felt like I was in the way, I was a “burden”.

Because I felt this way, I did everything I could to not be a burden. Everything I would others help me do I would do myself. I didn’t need any one, I had gotten into this mess myself I had to get out of it myself. I believe that is how you have to look at it to be the least of a burden to your loved one’s as you can.

In return this mentality, I believe, helped my recovery. Instead of being babied and having people do things for me, I would do it myself and I would make my brain work even harder. I would force my brain to establish the connections that I had lost when my 2002 Chevy Blazer veered off the highway.

This was the only way I could see to not be a burden on those who I loved the most. In the end I believe that this mentality furthered my recovery. It took some time, much longer than I had expected but I was soon able to do everything on my own. I didn’t need help from others. I believe if you have this mentality of “I can do it myself”, you will be able to stay out of the way of your loved ones and not be a burden.

There are, obviously, somethings that you cannot do yourself if you are in the early stages of rehab. For example: walk while carrying something really heavy. It’s okay to ask for help. But the little things, for example: carrying a tray of food. You can do this, just because your arm is weak and uncoordinated doesn’t mean you can’t do this.

Just walk slow and I know it’s hard but focus/ concentrate. In time you won’t even need to focus on doing this correctly and you will not need to burden any one in asking them for help. It’s a win-win!!

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Comments

  • Lee Staniland  On December 5, 2010 at 16:23

    That is how I became my OLD SELF. My husband at that time let me do everything myself. That includes taking care of a big house, taking care of all my animals. ( I lived on a small ranch. Helping him with his Flooring business. And taking care of him. I thanked him when I divored him for making me do all that cause that is how I got my streaght back to leave him. I always tell caregivers not to do everything for us. It might take longer but it is the best thing for us. I am now remarried to a wonderful man and really enjoy my life.

  • Debbie Hampton  On December 9, 2010 at 08:43

    I do believe it only helps our brain recover faster to do as much as possible for ourselves. My motto was “use it or lose it.” However, the injury has also been a lesson in learning to allow and receive help. It is a fine balance.

    I know, for me, before I was very independent and this was very hard to do. I lived by myself after and that, in itself, I think forced me to get better faster. I had no choice but to do things myself.

  • Nick  On February 22, 2011 at 15:51

    Thank you for the information regarding brain injuries. This blog was insight full and should be reviewed by anyone with this ailment. We will share this information with our clients. If any readers of this blog are looking to qualify for Social Security Disability, the Disability Group Inc. is more than happy to help. We can be reached at (http://www.socialsecuritylaw.com/). You feedback about this issue is greatly appreciated.

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